One of the most common and most difficult questions I get asked from parents of junior golfers is “What do I do when my child is struggling on the golf course?”
While the question may seem complex, there are four main keys that you can remember next time you are with your child on the golf course in that situation, to help both you and your child.
Mirror the actions/reactions that you want your child to have.
Many times a child that has an emotional reaction to the shot, will follow with the parent having one on the sidelines as well. If you watch the top players in the world, they all have an ability to get themselves back into a neutral state over a shot. Next time your child hits a bad shot, show them through body language that everything is okay. The more you can emulate this for your child, the more likely they are to calm down themselves. If you do this, but they still have a poor reaction such as throwing clubs or using foul language, then it’s time to have a more serious talk with them after the round and let them know that kind of behavior is not acceptable on the golf course, and figure out what is triggering these emotional reactions.
Let them make decisions!
Its very difficult to separate wanting to be a parent, and wanting to be a coach to your child on the golf course. While kids may be young, when they are on the golf course, they have the opportunity on every shot to make their own decision, accept that decision, and learn for the next time. Let’s say for example your child wants you to help them with club selection on a hole. Even when you get the urge to try and coach them and tell them what club to use, try instead to use questions or respond to them in a way where they still make their own decision, such as “what club do YOU think is right for this shot?” and let them talk you through it from there.
Let them vent on THEIR time!
Children will all react differently after a rough day on the golf course. Some need more time than others to recover. When the time is right for them to talk about it, they will come to you. There were many times as a junior golfer when I would have a tough day and just want to go be by myself and not talk to anyone for a while. Sometimes it was 15 minutes, or sometimes it took a few hours. Typically we would go get dinner somewhere, and that’s when I would decide to initiate conversation with my parents and talk through my round and figure out how I could do better the next time.
Remember, we learn more from the bad days than the good ones!
While we all wish every day could be a good day on the golf course, there will always be days when we struggle. It’s most often on the tough days when our weaknesses come out and we have a bigger opportunity to learn from them. Be sure to keep good statistics (At a minimum, Fairways, Greens, Putts, Up and Downs) as these will be a good help to your child’s coach/instructor to get a bigger picture of what happened during the round next time they meet with them.
Try out these four keys next time your child is struggling on the golf course. Remember, it’s the parent’s job to be the supporter, and the coach’s job to be the educator!
Sara
Read more great articles for young players and their parents in our Junior Golf Section lead by Michelle Holmes
Sara Stephens is a Class A PGA Professional and Co-Founder of The Stephens Golf Academy in Burlington, Kentucky, and is Trackman Level 1 and KVEST Level 3 Certified.
Named on the US Kids Top 50 Honorable Mention Certified Instructor List every year from 2014-2017, Sara is the Kentucky PGA 2018 Player Development Award Recipient and is also a member of PGA Lead class of 2018-2019.
More information on Sara is available at StephensGolfAcademy.com, and you can follow Sara on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
